..it matters

We met, one day.. at the school unexpectedly..

but i never thought we will be close as friends,

i've seen him before, but never get notice,

its like.." he exist, so do i.." but we don't know each other..

Recently, we had a chance to be together,

each time our eyes met, a smile suddenly appear from nowhere,

its hard to discribe this feeling, for i pretend its not real

but as the days go by, everything seems clear...

We've text late at night for nonesense things,

We laugh at the jokes we throw to one another,

and ready to lean a hand if ever one needs the other.

BUT.. one day... everything shattered!!

he keep a distance, and i suddenly feel strange

we now can no longer look at each other

nor talk, or laugh, or text and even smile seem so hard to do..

i know this wouldn't work out right,

and its better to stop before we finally fall

but i don't think its fair enough!!

to just left without saying a word..

WE can be friends, nothing more

so there's no reason to go

its ok!... its really ok..

because you MATTERS to me..

as a new friend that's all i want us to be....

...now i know..."

....

...After all these years of waiting and wanting you to be here with me, for all the nights i kept on dreaming about the place with only you and me, for all the days i thought i have you in my arms, for all of the happiness and loneliness you left behind, i never realize that your already gone, until one day, a day... i wish i never wake up, its the day i finally found the answer for all of the questions about "why?"... no words spoken, no actions to be taken... no need... its enough! i had enough!

...now i know...

...Atleast for now, i can go on...without any hesitation, without further explanation, i can no longer hold on... so i let go!... im letting you go....

...now i know...

...Why you keep a distance, building up a wall behind ourselves, for all of your excuses, for all of those troubled faces, for your eyes that never look at mine, and for all the words you kept unsaid...

...now i know...

...the reason behind you stop caring, or why you keep on ignoring, and stop communicating... for all of your absences in every gathering, and for all those facade you use on pretending!.. wearing an empty face, a drawing smile, and borrowers eye... seems each time i have you... i wish it was really you that i have...

...now i know...

...maybe you just don't want me to get hurt... or simply because your selfish enough to tell me the truth behind this secret... ill never asked, nor say a word... because right from the start i know my place to you... "a friend.... thats all i am to you..." well then, why do we have to be together after all? im tired... really tired of your selfish game... cause from the start i know i will never win...

...now i know...


from a Picture....


you and her...


that's all....
i guess i should end this nonesense post..
cause! i already give up!!!
on YOU.. on this S**t heart of yours..!

~be happy, atleast just be truly happy...

...it really HuRtS...."

I was so depressed right now,...my eyes was so heavy, it can no longer hold the tears..." waaah...! i hate him!"..=,(

Bakit ba kailangan ko nanaman masaktan!? "Pesteng pag-ibig!!"
"ako nanaman ang talunan!!!".... S**t!!!!

Kung hindi ko na sana sya nakita, kung hindi na sana sya nagparamdam, inakala kong mahalaga din ako sa kanya! bakit ganito??? anu ba talaga ako sa kanya? hindi ko gawain ang umasa,.. pero sana naman maging totoo sya! at pwede ba!! tama na ang pagpapanggap na nag-aalala ka!!! Tama na!!! nakakasakit ka na!!!! =,(

Sana nga, may kakayahan tayong sa una palang alam na natin ang kahahantungan ng lahat!

i just read this post on tristan cafe, and it reflects same situation here:
original posted by bunch..

"Sana alam ko lahat"..

-sana alam ko lahat..para nakaiwas na ko sa umpisa pa lang..
-sa umpisa p lang na alam ko n ako lng un mas higit na masasaktan...
-masasaktan kc mas pinili kong magbulagbulagan sa katotohanan...
-sa katotohanan na khit mahal ntin un isat isa may mga bagay n dapat ikonsidera...
-dapat ikonsidera kung kaya ba o mas tamang matuto muna tyong tumyo sa sariling paa...
-tumayo sa sariling paa na d ko na kitang ginwa mo ni minsan..
-ni minsan d nawala un pagasam na magiging tama din lahat...
-lahat n unti unti n ngaun nawawala...
-nawawala pero parang mas gusto kong manatiling wala na lang...
-wala n lng para d na umasa...mahirap..nakakasawa...



alam kong alam mo un pero bat ayaw mo p kong pakawalan
tama n... ayoko n...

~haist!!! Sana ikaw din...alamin mo ang lahat....:,(

...hUsH..hUsH...

I never needed you to be strong
I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs
I never needed pain, I never needed strain
My love for you is strong enough you should have known
I never needed you for judgment
I never needed you to question what I spend
I never ask for help
I take care of myself
I don’t why you think you got a hold on me

And it’s a little late for conversations
There isn’t anything for you to say
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver
So look at me and listen to me because…

I don’t want to stay another minute
I don’t want you to say a single word
Hush hush
Hush hush
There is no other way, I get the final say
Because…
I don’t want to, do this any longer
I don’t want you, theres nothing left to say
Hush hush
Hush hush
I’ve already spoken, our love is broken
Baby hush hush

I never needed your corrections
On everything from how I act to what I say
I never needed words I never needed hurts
I never needed you to be there everyday
I’m sorry for the way I let go
From everything I wanted when you came along
But I am never beaten, broken not defeated
I know next to you is not where I belong

And it’s a little late for explanations
There isn’t anything that you can do
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver
So you will listen when I say baby…

I don’t want to stay another minute
I don’t want you to say a single word
Hush hush
Hush hush
There is no other way, I get the final say
Because…
I don’t want to do this any longer
I don’t want you there’s nothing left to say
Hush hush
Hush hush
I’ve already spoken, our love is broken
Baby hush hush

No more words
No more lies
No more crying

No more pain
No more hurt
No more trying

I don’t want to stay another minute
I don’t want you to say a single word
Hush hush
Hush hush
There is no other way, I get the final say
Because…
I don’t want to, do this any longer
I don’t want you, theres nothing left to say
Hush hush
Hush hush
I’ve already spoken, our love is broken
Baby hush hush

Lyrics | The Pussycat Dolls lyrics - Hush Hush lyrics

..ang aking PAG-IBIG.."

Haizt... andami talagang etchosero sa earth! pati lovelife koh ginagawang issue ng iba... ang chenez!... "wakapakers!!!" yan lage ko sagot sa kanila... hmmp!!... ang hirap kasi sagutin ng question nila eh... "?????, baket..wala padin bah?.." hays! obvious bah! mga panggap sila!

minsan tinatawanan ko nalang, pero kung 10x a day nila yun tinatanong.. "abah!!.. bongga!!! mga pasaway ah!!!.."

hindi naman sa bitter ako... eh kasi naman, ang kukulit nila... halos alam naman nila lahat sa buhay ko...tapus mang-aasar pah!... medyo nakapikon nadin, pero ganun naman kami madalas, so sanay na rin ako...! jejeje.." mga kenkoy na katropa! puro nalang ako..!!! hmmp!"...

PAG-IBIG...??? nasan ko ba kasi naiwan un?

na-misplace ko ata......huhuhu!..=,(